Sherilyn Connelly > Diary > December 1 - 10, 2011



9/24/11
My Face for the World to See (Part II):
The Diary of Sherilyn Connelly
a fiction


December 1 - 10, 2011





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Saturday, 10 December 2011 (the third and final report)
2:13pm


After lunch at the Sea Breeze Cafe, Marta and I ventured into the Haight—dangerous under the best of circumstances, and all the moreso on a Saturday—where, for the first time in over a decade of being a steady customer, I received rude, indifferent service at the Fluevog store. Not entirely coincidentally, I now have my first pair of Doc Marten boots. Surprisingly enough, the service was a bit nicer there.

I don't think I'll be wearing them to Frolic tonight, though. They're going to be require a bit of breaking in before dancing happens.

sometime after midnight

Great night at Frolic. Our tribe was but a splinter tonight (just me, Marta, Ilene, and Porter), but that was okay. I finally decided to experiment with shooting video with my iPhone and uploading it to YouTube, something other people apparently do all the time. So, I shot and uploaded (in 1080p HD!) fifteen seconds of Derpy Hooves projected on the screen. It's a good start. Tomorrow, if my laptop's screen behaves, I write about Frolic for the weekly.

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Friday, 9 December 2011 (drastic eventually)
9:25am


This is the longest line I've ever seen at the Pharmacy, and I've seen some corkers in my time. This is truly impressive.

10:19am

They swear that my hormones (the refill prescription for which was called in by the clinic, who assured me they'd be ready today) will in fact be ready on Tuesday morning, no fooling! So I get to come back on Tuesday.

2:31pm

Bad Movie Night is on the SF Sketchfest 2012 schedule. We're a real show now! Our actual names aren't listed, but you can't have everything. Plus, we aren't really anybody, certainly not compared to the other people doing shows that night.

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Thursday, 8 December 2011 (line and color)
3:39pm


Feeling a little better today, but not by much. My brain's still too melty for actual writing, but I've been getting some less intelligence-intensive busywork done, including putting up a new piece on my essays page. It was originally intended for the queer-lefty blog which had actively courted me to write for them earlier this year, then started ignoring me shortly thereafter. Alas. It was good practice for further such brush-offs down the road, because that's how life works.

I also put up Episode 7 of kittypr0n, so there's that.

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Wednesday, 7 December 2011 (blinding light)
8:45am


The Proudly Resents interview is up. If you listen closely, you can hear me waving my arms around as I extemporized like mad. I thought we were going to be talking more about the philosophy of Bad Movie Night and showing It's a Wonderful Life, and I wasn't expecting to have to come up with jokes on the spot about specific elements. Oh well. Still turned out okay.

Meanwhile, I am officially sick, so I'm only going to be drinking fluids today, not liquids or (heaven forbid) beverages. And I will be healthy again in time for Frolic this Saturday. I also have to go to the SFGH Pharmacy this Friday to pick up my 'mones, whether I'm still feeling sick or not.

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Tuesday, 6 December 2011 (this murky emptiness)
12:12pm


Done and submitted! I'm through with school for the semester! The body of the finished paper was eighteen pages, with an additional three for the references (twenty-eight of 'em!) and one more for the title, bringing the total page count to twenty-two. Not too shabby. What is shabby is that feel a gnarly cold coming on. At least it waited for me to finish the paper.

3:52pm

Partially because I'm going to write about the show for the weekly and partly because it's just long overdue, I'm finally getting the remaining kittypr0n episodes digitzed and put up on YouTube, starting with Episode 5, which had previously been blocked because it has copyrighted music.

I'd had dinner plans with Ilene tonight, but I'm staying in (on Ilene's orders) because of the cold. Bleh. This doesn't bode well for my productivity for the rest of the week. I'd really been hoping to get back to me-writing.

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Monday, 5 December 2011 (reading the leaves)
11:17am


Almost done with my research paper, which is due tomorrow. I'm looking at a 98/100 on this puppy, easy. Hell, I may even pass this class.

3:52pm

Just did a phone interview with Proudly Resents about It's a Wonderful Life.

Whenever I think of my new hater, I think of Pinkie Pie telling it like it is: haters gonna hate, and I'm just gonna keep doing my thing.

7:36pm

Which includes sushi with Marta at Kiki. Nom.

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Sunday, 4 December 2011 (perimeter one)
4:12pm


Marta and I did some surgery on the laptop, mostly attempting to reseat the display cable (whatever that means), and it's behaving now.

Tonight's Bad Movie Night got a writeup in the SFist. Yay for press.

sometime after midnight

Not a great turnout for The Nutcracker despite said press, but goddamn, I think Bad Movie Night has a new holiday standard.

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Saturday, 3 December 2011 (paralytic state)
1:44pm


My laptop's death-rattles are getting worse. The machine itself is actually fine, but the screen, not so much. Sometimes it works, sometimes it freezes and goes white. Bleargh. This is not making it easy to get work done.

11:31pm

Marta and I had dinner at San Jalisco, then went to the Artists' Television Access for a program called "Incredibly Strange Music." I think this is the first time I've been to the ATA since Ilene and I saw a Derek Jarman film there in May of 2008, and before that when Ripley and I went to the Negativland DVD launch party in December of 2007. Basically, I really need to go there more often.

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Friday, 2 December 2011 (infinite is eternal)
12:01pm


Just as I was settling down to write this morning, I got a text from Marta, who had taken ill and needed me to rescue her from work. Which I did, and we've settled back in at her place, and I've actually managed to be productive. The actual body of the paper is done, and now I need to write the conclusion and the intro and then print it out and edit it by hand, which is the part I'm looking forward to the least, but it needs to be done.

1:24pm

My faithful Google Alerts have alerted me to the most hilariously bitter review of Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation I've ever read, or am ever likely to read. Holy cow, this person does not like me or my words! And for all its ad hominem attacks, intentional misgendering, context-free quotes and sentence fragments (can a sister get an ellipsis up in this bitch?), and general fusillade of zingers, the only truly insulting part is that I was deemed to be worth only about four hundred words, a mere one-tenth-ish, of this otherwise sprawling, brilliantly angry review.

Sherilyn Connelly likes porn. Here, let him tell you about it:

All things considered, I'll take being fetishized as a sex object over being assaulted or killed as a freak.

So glad you thought to ask women how that affects our lives in the patriarchy, Sherilyn. Really cool job you're doing there of breaking down gender norms.

As may be obvious by now, shemale porn is my favorite kind. The reason is simple: representation. In it, I can actually see people who look like me. My heart and soul are female, but it's not how I was born; I look more like shemale porn star Joanna Jet than genetic female porn star Jenna Jameson. I think Joanna's prettier anyway.

So there you have it. Representation is the key to ending oppression and feeling accepted. Luckily, women are so heavily represented in porn that we're well on our way to world domination. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a porn star's face being jizzed on. Forever. George Orwell said that.

Then and now, I like scenes of a transsexual with a pretty genetic girl. A pretty transsexual with a genetic girl is even better. But a pretty transsexual with a pretty genetic girl is one of the sexiest things ever to me, since I aspire to be a pretty transsexual and I'm attracted to pretty genetic girls.

So, you know, porn, he's into it.

But most of the audience wants to see a pretty tranny with a large or at least healthy-looking member. There's a reason why the career of a tranny porn star grinds to a halt if she gets vaginoplasty, aka sexual reassignment surgery: she ceases to be a chick with a dick and is now just a chick. That market is quite saturated, and the beauty standards are different.

I guess this porn aficionado thing is something I can't already read all over the internet so I'm glad this guy can fill that gap in my life.

It's just so small and unobtrusive, lacking sound and fury yet not signifying a damn thing.

My note next to that passage reads "lol can't write". I think I've said enough.

but nobody told me that having a dick made me a first-class citizen.

Privilege-blindness isn't really something to brag about.

and have Joan Didion give my first novel a glowing writeup in The New York Review of Books.

Nothing could be less likely. Literally, nothing.
Well, okay then! The important thing is that my name was spelled correctly, thus officially making it good publicity.

Looking up the book on WorldCat, which I can do because I'm a library student, I see that it's available in over two hundred libraries worldwide, as far away (from me) as the Port Philip Library in Australia. I don't think any of them are going to take the book off their shelves because of this.

6:32pm

I've been at Borderlands for the last few hours, getting caught up on stuff I've had to neglect because of the research paper and holidays and such. I've also managed to avoid having any boys sit next to me, which has been a relief. Later I'm going to the The Dark Room to see Dr. Strangelove: Live, and then to KrOB's. Dig me, I'm out in the world on a Friday night!

sometime after midnight

Made an Irish Exit (h/t Mindy Kaling) from Dr. Strangelove, and then watched The Bellboy with KrOB. Not a bad way to do things.

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Thursday, 1 December 2011 (wandering in forgotten rain)
1:12pm


I'm now officially close to be finished with the paper, which is going to be both longer (about seventeen pages) than the mininum page length (fifteen) and have more references (twenty-three) than the minimum number (twenty). Time to hit the gym.

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