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Wednesday, 20 June 2007 (technical details) 8:03pm At home for a record-breaking second night in a row. Hell, I even got eight hours of sleep last night. I've decided that the best way to deal with the stress of this weekend is to relax and treat myself as well as I can right now. Which isn't to say I haven't been working this week; I've been spending a lot of time putting out fires, appeasing egos, juggling schedules, and even getting my actual pay-the-rent work done. Things will pick up momentum tomorrow, and keep going until Sunday night. After some panickiness earlier this week, though I'm feeling much more confident about how the Tranny Stage is coming along. I think it's going to be good, and I'll be proud of it. I seriously doubt I'll be doing it again next year, though. I want to like June again. I think the squid and I have reached an understanding. Kinda like how, even though her and I bonded quickly, it took a while for me to be able to pet Perdita without her getting bitey and scratchy. "Petting Aggression," Hayley called it. An adjustment period with any new animal, especially one which is sewn onto your head. The headaches are rare now, I was just fine in Bolinas and at Bad Movie Night, and sex no longer feels like I'm whaling on my temples with a sledgehammer. A definite improvement. The fact that my hair has grown out some surely helps, and the pain may return when I get the tentacles tightened at some point in the next few months, but at least now I can anticipate it, and that'll make a big difference.
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Tuesday, 19 June 2007 (tipped scales) 8:19am Woke up this morning at half past four, sweating and unable to get back to sleep. Four hours of sleep has been my average amount for years, and going back to sleep wasn't happening, so I got up and started putting out fires. I expect there'll be many more in the next few days.
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Monday, 18 June 2007 (eventualities) 7:10am Back in town from what was easily one of my best, and certainly one of the least run-of-the-mill, birthdays. Vash and I left Bolinas around ten on Sunday morning, and after stopping for brunch at Bok Choy Garden in the Richmond, we were at the Black Light District by noon. Worked and did other things for most of the afternoon, and then went to the Dark Room for Bad Movie Night. The feature was Flash Gordon, which I've been wanting to do ever since Bad Movie Night started, and it was the big hit I'd always suspected I would be. Never discount Generation X nostalgia.
And now the crunch week, leading up to Pride Sunday. I think I've done the majority of what needs to be done prepwise and scheduling for the Tranny Stage, but it's still really scary.
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Thursday, 14 June 2007 (more than streetwise) 10:33pm The show last night, once I finally got to it, was fantastic. Major rockstar performance, judging from the audience reaction; there were a couple moments when the laughter or the applause went on so long, I ran out of ways to appear engaged during it. Mostly I just felt embarrassed. Grafeful and happy, to be sure—this is something I've always wanted, and I'm getting it, and can you ever be truly prepared for something you didn't think would ever happen?—but embarrassed all the same. I was the same way after the show, when person after person (many of them being other writers whom I admire) came up and told me how great I was. Some people called me brave, though I wasn't entirely sure which parts qualified as brave, as I've lost track of such things. It's just my life, and if I didn't have that to write about, I wouldn't be writing much of anything at all. As they talked to me I had to keep reminding myself to not look at the ground, which is still my natural inclination when being complimented, as in this picture of all of us onstage at the end during the standing ovation. Left to right: solidad decosta, myself, Charlie Anders in mermaid mode, Shawna Virago, Ryka Aoki de la Cruz, and Julia Serano. (I have no idea why it appears that Shawna and Ryka are looking right at me. There's no particular reason that they would have.) That's also the best picture I've seen thus far of the squid, in the high ponytail which not only the easiest on my head, but actually looks the best, somewhat Giger-esque at times. I've scared a few small children, anyway. My head's been doing pretty well this week, partially but not entirely thanks to ibuprofen, though the orgasm question remains unresolved. Considering that my head is starting to feel a little bit achey just thinking about it, it's best I don't take the chance. Hayley and I were supposed to get together tonight, but she had to cancel for vaguely similar physical reasons. Tomorrow morning I'm being interviewed at The Dark Room for a documentary, and in the afternoon Vash and I are driving to Bolinas to hang out with c0g and m0 for my birthday weekend. As changes of pace go, we could do a lot worse. The editor of the femme visibility anthology wrote. (Mass email, not just to me.) Seems the publisher is closing up shop next month, so she's shopping the book around. Yeah, that just figures. Not that I know yet whether or not whether "In the Shadow of the Valley" was accepted, but it figures all the same.
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Wednesday, 13 June 2007 (a stream of pure heat) 7:31pm In the final big stage manager's meeting. I so don't think I'll be doing this again next year. The Penis Issue is starting upstairs. It was supposed to be downstairs, but, well, things change. I'm scheduled to go on towards the end, fortunately. This one is a bit more nerve-wracking than most.
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Tuesday, 12 June 2007 (retention of grace) 11:56am It somewhat ironically describes things which I can't do right now without encountering searing pain, but my story about the Masturbate-a-Thon is live on the Eros Zine. I only supplied the headshot of myself, but, damn, I approve of that gothed-out picture of Nina Hartley. So hot.
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Monday, 11 June 2007 (deeply in public) 11:41pm Just took Ennui home. We had sushi, then went to the Black Light District to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000. I kept my pants on—only my pants;—but we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly, and at no point did my head split open.
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