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Saturday, 20 March 2010 (no exceptions) 4:11pm Stayed at The Dark Room for Caddyshack last night, then went over to KrOB's to watch a movie. Didn't make it to bed until three, and was up again at eight. Five hours is usually just enough for me, but wow, I'm feeling it right now. I admire people who can actually get eight (or more) hours of sleep when the opportunity presents itself. And the opportunity presented itself, except that my body simply wouldn't let me sleep any longer. I tried napping earlier this afternoon, to no avail. Alas. Got some cleaning done, and Marta's coming over later. That's really what Saturdays are about. Seeing Marta, I mean. Not the cleaning. | ||
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Friday, 19 March 2010 (forever muted) 2:15pm At The Dark Room. I'd intended to go to Mocha 101, but it wasn't open by half past eleven. I'd wager it's still not open yet. I love the place, but I have no idea how it's going to stay in business without steady hours. I made it to the gym at seven this morning and did my weight routine. I didn't see Damiel, surprisingly enough, and the few regulars in his class who were there seemed a little...curt. For want of a better word. So it goes. I was already plenty exhausted by the time the spin class started at eight, and I wasn't sure how I'd make it through, but I felt just fine by the time it was over. It helps that it was nowhere near as intense as the other classes I've been in this week, and I only burned about half as many calories. (The reason I know these things at all is because their bikes have neato little monitors on them which tell you, among other things, calories burned and your speed.) The instructor never actually got on a bike herself, which bothered me at first, but she made up for it by being far more attentative to individual people than most of the other instructors, and a number of whom have ignored me altogether. So it evens out nicely. I'll probably take tomorrow off, and definitely Sunday, and then be back at it on Monday. Sadie used to tease me for my need to have a routine, but it really helps. I get so much more done that way. I'm basically a child, so I require structure. Besides, I'm going to be one of the Rod Serlings in The Twilight Zone in May, so I really need to lose weight to fit into the frakking suit. For the theater, you understand. | ||
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Thursday, 18 March 2010 (cherished cruelty) 6:01pm I didn't make it to the earliest spin class this morning, which annoyed me a bit, but the one later in the morning wasn't so bad at all. Not many people were in it, and the instructor was the closest I've come to finding someone Tyrol-like, which of course has been my wish. He made a joke at the beginning of the class which signified to me that was either gay or homophobic, and I still wasn't sure by the end of the class, but that was okay. Like the Tuesday night class, I burned nearly three hundred calories and was quite wasted by the end. He also gave me (us, really, since the half-dozen other women in the class gathered around as he and I were talking) an interesting tip: to ensure that fat is being burned while spinning, do weights first. The weight work burns carbs so that by the time you get to spinning, the body's out of carbs to burn and has turned to the fat. I'll definitely be giving that a try tomorrow morning. I was originally planning on returning this evening for another class, but my body's making it very clear that it's not for up for that. So. He also suggested, as so many have, to cut out sugar. I'm going to try my best. On the one hand, it's not especially difficult because I've never had much of a sweet tooth (which is why I'm not twice as far as I am), but on the other hand, it's difficult because sugar is everywhere. But it's worth shot. | ||
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Wednesday, 17 March 2010 (end of line) 4:40pm I went to the evening spin class last night, because the only way this'll work is if I go twice a day when possible. I didn't care for the instructor's style, and her music was arbitrary at best—unlike every other spin class I've been in, there was no correlation whatsoever between the songs and our riding—but she turned the lights off, and I'd burned three hundred calories by the time it was over. I was home by eight, in bed by nine and up again at four for the five o'clock class. Different instructor once again, and they all made me miss Cally (and especially Tyrol, relegated to the distant past), but it just means I have to get over my need for connection with the instructor. That was all fine and good when I was working with Raphaela and Tyrol and everything was in place, but it hasn't been like that for over a year, and this is how things are now. What really blew my mind was the fact that the stars were still out when I left the gym. That's operating on a whole different level. Won't be going tonight, since Marta's coming over after she gets out of school. But tomorrow morning for sure. And then tomorrow evening, and Friday morning, and possibly Friday evening if I get it through my head that this is more important than the final weekend of Caddyshack. And eventually, I'll die. | ||
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Tuesday, 16 March 2010 (ghosts in the machine) 12:00pm Had dinner and snorgled with Marta at her place before we went to Pete and Sarah's to watch Caprica last night. And I almost made it to bed before midnight. There was an instructor this morning, but it wasn't Cally. Nobody seems to know where she is, or when she's coming back. So it goes. A few people have commented (kindly) on my absence, telling me I was missed, and the people who don't care for me probably wish I hadn't come back. Understandable. There's no spin class tomorrow morning at six, but there is one at five. Which would require getting up at four. I used to get up at four (or earlier) when I was in my mid-twenties, so I can still do it in my mid-thirties, right? Right. | ||
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Monday, 15 March 2010 (the imperfections of memory) 9:11am Went to Cally's spin class this morning, my first time at the gym since February 23. My lower back's still giving me trouble now and again, but it doesn't seem chronic or permanent or anything, and what's more, the more I fall out of shape the worse everything's going to be. So. I've also decided to revise my overall regimen to focus a lot more on the cardio. Spinning, to be precise. The heart rate must be increased, and fat must be burned, which is why I went to Cally's class rather than Damiel's, which doesn't actually burn fat. Except that she wasn't there. There was no instructor at all, actually. Not a good sign, but I stuck around and spun for about forty minutes anyway. It helps when I have someone telling me what to do, though. This is the only way it works. | ||
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Sunday, 14 March 2010 (know thy enemy) 2:31pm Got dressed and tarted up, had dinner with Marta at Ananda Fuara (our first time there together, surprisingly enough) and then went to the show. It was good, and having Marta with me made me feel far less lonely than last time. I was still feeling thoroughly antisocial, though, so we sat at the very back, and didn't do any mingling. I probably should have, but I just couldn't bring myself. I knew a lot of the people there, but it just doesn't feel like my crowd anymore. (Because I don't feel like I have a crowd at all these days.) And I noticed that almost every performer got big applause from the audience when their name was mentioned...except me. Alas. I haven't been the hot trendy thing in a long time, if I ever was (I wasn't), and that's just where things are now. Afterward, Marta and I attempted unsuccessfully to find parking around the new location of The Power Exchange, and ended up just going home instead. And that's okay, too, because I was with her. Today's a work day for us, sitting in the living room, working on my taxes as well as our applications to the Tin House Summer Writers Workshop. We also applied to the Bread Loaf Writers' Conference together. I love the fact that her and I do this sort of thing, and I love her. This is the right relationship for me. 11:53am Excellent turnout at Bad Movie Night for Next of Kin, though I was glad I didn't actually have to host, and could just hide behind the counter. Still not feeling up to crowds. | ||
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Saturday, 13 March 2010 (there is another sky) 4:01pm I suppose I should, like, get dressed. I have a gig tonight, and by all accounts it's a beautiful day outside. I've been back on the spironolactone since Wednesday. I wonder when I'll get my head back. | ||
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Friday, 12 March 2010 (gravedancing) 11:52pm At Mocha 101. Okay, let's try this again. 4:12pm Not quite as much work done as I'd like, but some, anyway. I'm considering going to see Caddyshack at The Dark Room tonight, but more likely I'll just go home. I'm not really feeling up to being around people. 7:11pm Yep, thought so. | ||
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Thursday, 11 March 2010 (within the martian canals) 5:37pm Well, this isn't how I expected the day to go at all. Marta stayed over last night as she usually does on Wednesdays, and after she left for work my intention was to spend the day at Mocha 101, writing. Indeed, I was just settling down in my nook at Mocha 101 with a latte (soy!)—trying not to worry too much about the fact that my laptop froze during startup and Vista had taken twenty minutes running its diagnostic to get up and running again without actually telling me what was wrong—and was prepared to leap back into Landing on Water, which I haven't touched since the beginning of the year (both because it's scary and overwhelming, and because my Agent and I started working on the Bottomfeeder rewrites), when I got an email from someone at the office. Someone associated with the company, anyway, a partner of one of the founders though nobody I've ever met. (For that matter, I've never been introduced to the founders, though I'm fairly certain we've been in the same room at the same time. Then again, I'm just a part-timer, so why bother?) Seems they needed a new flyer, and I they'd heard that I was good at graphics, and my supervisor had okayed the overtime for me to work on this project because it's an emergency, and could I please? So I drove to work (wasting a perfectly good latte buzz on the way—it could have fueled the writing of 3,000 words, easy), and I've been here ever since. Turns out it's Photoshop and more Microsoft Word (the graphics involved are actually very minimal, though I've busted out a bit of my Fu), and a lot of the day has been spent waiting for feedback on my latest comp, but hey. I need the money, and more importantly, now one of the founders knows of my awesomeness, and that can't be a bad thing. And it's looking like they only need me today. Tomorrow, I write. 6:21pm My Agent says yet another editor is reading Bottomfeeder. That's five confirmed as actually reading it rather than simply having been queried, and I've got a really good feeling about this one. This is going to happen, oh yes it will. And I'm even ready for it now, with the testosterone tamped back down where it belongs. In a noble attempt to make small talk as we were both waiting for our overpriced caffeinated beverages at our building's cafe yesterday, a coworker asked me if the book was published yet. I said it was not (and didn't bother to tell him that even if a publisher bought it tomorrow, it wouldn't see the light of day before 2011, more likely 2012), and he opined that it'll be nice to have an extra source of income. I just laughed and said that if I was writing a book for the money, I would have written a far different book. Oh, I'll be very happy indeed if the book makes money—I have a few outstanding debts I'd love to pay off—but I know better than to expect it. Most of the books that are written for the money don't really achieve that goal, either. sometime after midnight Stoned and watching Swimming to Cambodia with KrOB. A perfect moment, indeed. | ||
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