Vash and I went by my office last night on the off chance that I'd left my sunglasses there on Friday. No such luck. I got to show her the pink room, at least. (welcome to canada) From there we went to a party at Temple's, and though it was fun, we didn't last all that long. I suddenly found myself very tired, so we went back to Vash's place, where I promptly crawled into her bed and fell asleep. From the outside, it must have looked like borderline narcolepsy.

It had been a long weekend already. Vash had a reading on Saturday night, and afterwards we went to Spectacular! Spectacular! at the all-too-nearby DNA Lounge, with Esther in tow. (Is it just me, or does this flyer invoke Danielle in a huge way? It's probably just me.) The show itself was a lot of fun, and I especially dug that the music between sets was the sort of thing which I haven't heard in a goth club in ages, if ever, since it was before my time: "Lucretia My Reflection" by The Sisters of Mercy, and especially "Bloodletting" by Concrete Blonde. Halloween or no, anything vampire-related has been highly frowned up since I've been been puttering around in and on the fringes of the goth scene. It was also the first time I've actually danced with Vash.

After the show, we dropped off Esther and went back to my place, reveling in the fact that neither of us had anywhere pressing to be on Sunday, at least not until the afternoon. We stayed up late, slept some, then stayed up some more, finally venturing outside so I could give her the grand walking tour of Outer Sunset culture. (Stop laughing.) We eventually got back into her car and headed for a little fuckin' culture in the form of a symphony performance at the Jewish Community Center. On New Year's Eve and Day, they're doing Beethoven's Ninth. A look was exchanged.

Vash dropped me off this morning at the muni stop around the corner from my office, from which I blessedly have the day off. Though I'd slept well by my standards, I still had that up-all-night feeling.

Thirty-six hours, chai twice. Enough? No, not hardly.

So, yeah. Going on tour tomorrow.

9:53pm

There aren't many touristy places I care to see where we're going. Except for this. I don't like cherry pie or coffee, but...

Vash joined me for the Negativland show last night, which was was quite lovely. We were in the balcony, so we had a good view of both the action on stage ("action" being the three guys noodling about on largely archaic sound equipment, tape machines and turntables and the like) and the audience. Aside from the immediate company, I especially enjoyed watching one particular audience member, a guy sitting towards the front who was clearly having the time of his life. He had a big shit-eating grin on his face the whole time, and I saw him reacting especially strongly to familiar Negativlandisms, stuff he'd clearly grown to love on their albums or on Over the Edge, and now he was thrilled to be hearing them live, even if they were the same recordings. I love watching reactions, even the ones I didn't cause.

5:04pm

Preparations continue. Among other things, I've printed out maps of the locations of the four places we'll be reading, lists of dialup numbers and wifi spots for the areas we'll be traveling, and plenty of tips on driving in yucky conditions. (Remain calm if the car starts to skid? As if.) I think I'll be about as prepared as I can be, acknowledging that I can't account for everything. On the less scary side, Vash is overcoming her natural aversion to text-messaging, which is a happy thing since I'm unlikely to be able to write her (analog or digital) quite as much as she did on her recent trip. Maddy, meanwhile, has taken to messaging like the IM fiend she's always been.

sometime after midnight

Good if tragically underattended Queer Open Mic tonight. Those not present missed out on seeing Horehound perform shirtless but wearing my Spike jacket. It was even hotter than it sounds. Just as hot was seeing him and his current fling sitting towards the back, pawing and pinching and twisting at each other. There was just something so...dirty about it, which I loved.

Sister Edith has suggested I could look at the new moon as the start of a new cycle, time to begin planning new projects and the like. I should kick her hippie ass and send her back to Woodstock.

1:57pm

Dee Dee Russell from Dee Dee TV recognized me at the Negativland show last night. She told me that a lot of people are still fond of kittypr0n, especially other producers—they still watch it, talk about, and are even influenced by it. That last one really touched me. I love the thought that people are influenced and inspired by our silly little cat show, in the way that we were influenced by Mindwrecker. (Warning: embedded music.)

Speaking of such things, while my upstairs neighbors will be attending to the daily catsitting duties while I'm gone next week (like they've done in the past for the erstwhile kittypr0n stars), Vash has offered to come by and visit Perdita, even though the Black Light District is nowhere near Vash's home or office. How sweet is that?

Lynnee freaked out on me a bit when I told him on the phone last night that I'm driving up to Washington—he seemed convinced that I would be going through Donner Pass, and meet a similar fate as the eponymous travelers. We won't be going anywhere near Donner Pass, but it didn't do my existing fears any favors. I hate driving in the rain, and I've never driven in snow. Being the only remotely experienced driver on this trip, I'll get the honors should we hit nasty conditions. The extended weather forecasts suggests that it'll mostly just rain, and forecasts are never wrong, are they?

11:15pm

...the wild pitufina seeks out the vashita in the wilderness, the pitufina's mane changing from black to white, her talons and fangs extending in anticipation of the vashita's intoxicating scent and flesh...

It's like this. Having been just dropped off at work by Vash after a long, exhausting and bruising night together celebrating her return to the Pacific Time Zone, I decided to trudge to the nearby Safeway to get something to boost my energy. (I can totally hear Ali from the last couple times I was similarly tired: i have no sympathy for you whatsoever. As well she shouldn't.) On the way there, I spotted a small purse on the ground. I picked it up, hoping it would be empty. Nope. In it was a billfold with a license, credit card, the whole shebang. I studied the face on the license, hoping to recognize her in Safeway. No such luck.

Back at the office, I'd decided I would drop it in the mail to the address on the license when Maddy (via IM) suggested that look for a business card. Duh. Sure enough, there was one. Place appeared to be a pillow and linen store within spitting distance of my office. Called, didn't get an answer, so I walked over there. Understandably, she was more than a little shocked to see me, whoever the hell I am, at the door holding up her purse. Hadn't even realized she lost it. She had no cash to give as a reward, and I wouldn't have accepted it if she did, as that would look way too much like a scam. So she insisted on giving me some little present. Hence the travel pillow, which will come in awfully handy for all the traveling I'll be doing next week (!). The End.

12:53pm

It remains a shambles in other ways (not helped by the fact that when our competition visited, people kept trying to use it as a depository for their stuff), but by gum, the pink room is finally alphabetized. By studio, anyway, which is more than enough.

And it's done before Tim returns to the country/office, which is important, because he'd been getting cranky about it. As it happens, my supervisor is taking a "personal day" because he doesn't feel well (which I'm parsing as "nursing a hangover") and Tim doesn't return until later this week, not today like I'd thought. So just rolling over and going back to sleep like Vash had wanted to do this morning was an option after all—I totally could have called in sick and it wouldn't have been a problem. Alas. I'll have to remember that "personal day" business for the first night Vash and I spend together after I get back from the tour.

4:08pm

In blacklight, nobody can see you cry.

9:53pm

For every door that's slamming shut, another two are opening. It's just how things work.

10:12pm

At a gathering Vash and I attended yesterday, someone was talking about Mars being in retrograde causing problems. While I was trying to figure out how Mars could be in retrograde when it's an outer planet (in fact, it does retrograde; I was confused, thinking of phases, which only the inner planets Venus and Mercury show), Vash said in the most diplomatic way possible, I Really Don't Think That Makes A Difference. It was difficult not to grin too broadly at that. How could I not be smitten?

Okay, world. Now what?

I got the toner at the Sally's at 16th and Bryant yesterday after work. It was far from my only destination, however. First I went to the AAA on Van Ness to get maps for the tour week after next (!), then to the Great American Music Hall to get Vash a ticket for Thursday's Negativland show (after seeing their gallery show in New York, she's fast becoming a fan), then to Sally's, and finally to The Dark Room for Batman and Uphill Both Ways. I was the Phantom of The Dark Room most of the time, lurking in the shadows behind the bar, but that's okay. I can do that. They don't mind.

I hadn't planned on going out tonight, but it almost seems a shame not to with my hair looking as purty as it does, so I'm probably going to The Dark Room to see Batman again. What the hell, it's free (to me).

sometime after midnight

Standing next to Ty at her lighting station behind the bar at The Dark Room, I noticed she was making a list of names—Squid List luminaries, spouses of performers in the show, that sort of thing. notable people in the audience? I asked, just to see if my guess was correct. Oh! Ty said. Right! And Sherilyn! But Yeah, That's What It Is, For Erin To Announce From The Stage. I guess it's become a custom; last night Jim gave Collette a shout-out for her contribution to the script. (I still think she deserved to be mentioned in the program, and maybe if I hadn't been too pouty to accept the Assistant Director position I could have made sure she was, but that puddle of milk has long since dried and curdled, and is unworthy of tears.) (The tears came later in the evening when I was at home watching a downloaded episode of the new Battlestar Galactica called "Pegasus," and I started crying during Boomer's interrogation scene. It really got to me.) Ty put my name on the list, which honestly had not been my intention. I was not angling to be included. I'd simply been wondering aloud. But I didn't tell her to take my name off, either.

So as her and Jim introduced the show, Erin read the list with only the slightest hint of discomfort. Squid List guy—applause. Fringe guy—applause. Wife of the Joker—applause. Actor in The Dark Room's upcoming production of Emperor Norton: The Musical—applause. My name—

The crickets in the woods next to Maddy's old trailer park in Kansas make one hell of a racket. It's a wonder anybody gets any sleep.

Anyway, as these sorts of office things go, it could have been a lot worse. The cake was yummy, and the card wasn't entirely stupid. The ironic part is that Ali and I would usually stick together for moral support during these things, and now she's leaving me to fend for myself. The nerve.

Meanwhile, I've been quite productive today in the pr0n library, hereafter to be equally known as the pink room. It's mostly alphabatized, a process which has been about fifteen percent planning and eighty-five percent physical labor. Rather proud of it, especially since I've been doing it in PVC pants. If there's anything I've learned from c0g, it's that there isn't much that can't be done in fetish gear. Besides, last night was rough emotionally—things blew up and broke down—and I'm sufficently shallow that wearing sexy clothes makes me feel better.

4:11pm

Guns!

sometime after midnight

As always, it is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you aren't.